no bad kids, just bad parenting

sound like a harsh title, but sometimes the truth isn’t sugar coated! something came up in conversation the other day that made me think about an important post….tempermant of your babies.  tempermant and the way your babies and children act, in my opinion, have to do with the type of environment and home they are raised in.  children are a product of their environment, whether it’s at home or their classroom at school.  i was a kindergarten teacher in the states and every year was told by other teachers that i always got the so called “good kids.”  this always used to upset me because when they came to me on day one they did not act the way i helped mold them to.  they all had to learn to listen, follow rules, learn their boundaries, etc.  the emphasis placed on class management and establishing the classroom environment that i felt was conducive for learning took a lot of time,patience and hard work.  i mean a lot of hard work.  i won’t go into how i did this or the methods of my approach right now, because i want to chat about helping create an environment in your home that molds a baby/child with a good tempermant.

my beliefs about your childs’ temperant being a product of their environment comes from my teaching and parenting experiences combined.  i feel, there are no ‘bad’ kids, just kids with poor parenting.  i hate when i see a young child throwing a tantrum and someone else comments with ‘that kids is such a brat, etc.’ in my opinion, it is not the childs fault for the way they act.  they have been parented and taught to act in this way.  i don’t mean your child will never cry, scream, or throw themselves on the floor…this is normal.  normal kids do these things from time to time to help establish their independence as they are learning about their world. every once in awhile is one thing, but all the time is another.  if the teacher says this child is the troublemaker, i believe they have this constant behaviour problem because of the parenting they’ve had. 

creating a good temperant starts with a relaxed, structured, routine oriented home that respects the schedule needs of each child.  the core foundation of a relaxed, well-behaved child comes from the continuity in their routine.  it is okay to break the routine occasionally, as long as 90% of the time you respect it.  in order to sleep train properly, i feel, you need to have a routine in place.  without a routine/structure you often miss the optimal sleep window.  when you miss this window, you are more apt to get tears when you put your child down. 

i am very big on routines and structure and i try my best to stick to it as often as i can.  this makes it very easy for someone else to come into your home, grandparents, sitters, etc. and follow what needs to be done.  as long as they stick to the routine, your children have less stress about you being gone.  a win-win!  i have very happy kids, who both sleep very, very well!  for example, my 5 month old, beckett, smiles as i lay him down in his crib and drifts off to sleep in a matter of just a couple minutes whether for naps or night time.  i follow a schedule, watch for his sleep window, and put him down before he is over tired.  a well-rested baby is an overall happy baby.  my mom came to visit and when she left after 8 days, said “i can’t believe i never heard beckett cry.  not even once!’  in reality, i haven’t heard beckett cry since before her visit which was in mid-october!  i truly believe these things, amonst other tips, will help you create calm, relaxed kids with a good temperment!

my secret of the day is to establish a routine that works for you and your family. one that you can commit to 90% of the time.  by doing this, it will help create a calm and secure child, whom doesn’t have anxiety about his day to day world and in turn will make your life so much easier! 

i will re-visit schedules and routines many times as i blog, as it is a major piece of the puzzle!  please feel free to contact me on my contact page if you have questions or comments!  happy parenting!


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