responsible kids or just plain brats for life?

hi everyone!  so very sorry i have been out of touch for so long.  between travel and my mom here to visit life hasn’t been so called-normal for the last couple weeks.  my apologies!  i know my title may sound a bit harsh, but i recently read an article from Parents Magazine.  the article was about raising your kids to become a good spouse.  such an interesting title and concept to say the least!  i personally feel that my job as a parent is to raise a kind, respectful and responsible human being, whom will contribute in some way to society.  i had never really thought of it in the terms of raising a good spouse.  it does go hand in hand, but has a really nice ring about it! they state that how you raise your child to act as a child will have a direct impact on how they act as an adult and what type of spouse they will become.  i love learning new parenting ideas, thoughts, and tips and this article i found interesting and knowledgeable!

the article link is here:


the main focus in this article was on ways you can work towards accomplishing this goal of raising a good spouse.  one key ingredient is teaching your child about responsibility.  they suggest you can do this through chores and jobs around the house.  install the values in your child that chores/work doesn’t get done all by itself, someone has to do it.  make your child responsible for chores you know are age appropriate and where they can find success.  in my house i have my 3 year old clearing his plates every meal/snack to the sink.  he also picks up all his own toys and cleans one mess before moving onto the next.  the final chore (not an issue any longer, thanks to this chart) was to stay dry all day at school! hudson does these chores daily and without any so-called rewards now that he has learned from our chart which i will explain now.  of course he gets verbal praise and recognition for all his hard work and responsible acts, but there aren’t any extrinsic (outside rewards) offered.  teaching him this quality and value took time and consistency.  to begin with we used a responsibility chart.  we created the chart together and talked about the chores he and i were going to add to it.  (see photo for details)  we also left space each day for each chore to add a sticker as he completed each task.  before the week began we chatted about what reward he would like at the end of the week if the chart was completely filled out.  i told his teachers about the chart so that they could remind him at school to go potty so he could add a sticker when he got home.  from day one, the “accidental” accidents completely stopped.  he began to fill the chart and after 3 days of filling he told me, “mommy, i don’t need to add a sticker because i’m just responsible without it!”  i about died when this 40 year old comment came out of my 3 year olds body!  to this day the chart hangs on our fridge looking just like the photo and he continues to complete his chores each day!  he is truly my little helper and such a little man!

another point in the article is that in order to raise a good spouse you have to model for them.  teach them by example.  speak kindly to your spouse, share jobs and tasks, be respectful and so forth.  of course you need to work with your child directly on manners and respectfulness, but they truly learn so much at home by watching you and how you interact with your partner and those around you. the values and morals you instill in your children are the values and morals they will have as adults!  take the time and help them be the best child, adult and spouse they can be!! 

basically, i suggest you all read this article!  i found it very insightful and a nice message that really hit home!

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