How Can I Help My Forgetful Child?
Are your kids forgetting everything? Does it seem as though your child can’t remember a single thing? They forget to flush the toilet, pack their lunch or do their chores? If you have a child, aged two years and up, and you find yourself reminding, reminding, reminding, then these “HOW TO” tips to help decrease your child’s forgetfulness are for you! Don’t waste another day living frustrated over your child’s forgetfulness. There is a solution!
A Child Who Forgets, Has A Parent Who Reminds
The first thing I want you to ask yourself is “Do I constantly need to remind my child to do something?” If you answered yes to this question, that’s your first red flag. There’s a quote I love to share with parents, “If your child always forgets, then you always remind.” Forgetfulness is a learned behaviour. Your child has been taught to forget based on the fact that he/she knows, you will always remind. “Why remember if someone else will do it for me?” To break this habit of reminding, it will take time and practice. To help guide you, I am offering you 4 – EASY to follow steps:
1.) SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS IN ADVANCE
Often times our expectations are not clear. Our kids need our expectations to be black or white, not grey. When we have grey expectations, our kids become unsure how to please us. Try taking some time to decide in advance what you want your kids to do. For 2-3 year olds, maybe it’s to put all their dirty clothes into the hamper. For kids 4-5 years, maybe it’s to get themselves dressed, brush teeth and make their bed. Whatever the expectations are they need to be clear and concise. Once you’ve decided on your expectations, the next step is to teach, train and practice in a manner to help your child be successful.
2.) CREATE CHARTS TO SET FIRM EXPECTATIONS
Charts are a great way to help hold your kids accountable for their duties. It also takes the pressure and responsibility off of you. The chart becomes the boss! Be sure the chart has everything you want your child to do listed clearly and is age appropriate. For example; younger kids would benefit from charts that include pictures with words to help with early literacy skills. Older kids can have charts with only print or they often enjoy making and decorating their own charts. A morning chart for a 4-5 year old may include; make bed, brush teeth, go potty, get dressed, pack water bottle, shoes and coat on, ready to go! If you know your child is capable of all of these things, put them on the chart. You want your kids to be successful so don’t add items to the list that your child can’t complete independently.
3.) TEACH, TRAIN, & PRACTICE
Before we can be sure our kids are ready to take on their new responsibilities, we must take time up front to teach, train and practice. Once the charts are made, you must take time to teach and practice. It’s key that you know your child is capable of completing all the tasks at hand. Front loading will take some time and effort on your part, but the more you front load, the less work you have on the back end. Once you’ve take time to teach and train, you are then able to give your kids the freedom and space to follow their charts independently. This independence will help fill up your child’s ‘Power Buckets,’ which increases self-worth, confidence and internal motivation. In turn decreasing negative behaviour!
4.) ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH
Follow through is the final step and the hardest part for parents. I know you don’t want your kids to be uncomfortable for a single minute, but it’s important to follow through in order for lessons to be taught. What this means is, once expectations are set, charts are made and you’ve taken time to teach and train, then you must let your kids go. If and when they forget something, because they will forget something at some point, you need to NOT REMIND. Don’t bail them out by reminding them. If you remind them, they will continue to forget. But..if you let them forget they will learn to deal with the natural consequence and remember next time.
Stop The Cycle And Don’t Waste Another Day Frustrated
This is where life lessons are taught and your child begins to remember. You can finally say goodbye to your child’s forgetfulness and the exhausting cycle is broken. You will be so relieved when you can easily get out of the house each morning without a battle! Follow these 4 steps and soon you will have a child who remembers everything that needs to be done and all without you reminding!
Book your private consult today with Tia and take the first step in finding more time, energy and the joy in parenting!
Watch this episode of Tuesday’s with Tia for more information on forgetful kids.
Stop the cycle and Book your consult – You can make changes. There is a solution for everything!