Happy New Year – [Not so happy resolutions]
Another year has passed and it’s that time of year where everyone is talking about making new year’s resolutions. I have always had a bitter-sweet feeling about resolutions. On one hand, it’s great because it helps us to focus on bettering ourselves and improving in areas we’ve desired to make change. But, on the other hand it often sets us up for failure. Putting way too much pressure on the resolution and leaving you feeling depressed, down and miserable when you can’t follow through.
Are you going to be “the best” parent in 2020?
Parents often place pressure on themselves to be the “best parent” they can be. What does that even mean? How can you really say whether or not you are the “best parent?” It’s not something that can be measured or scaled. I say to HELL with resolutions and HELLO to goals. Instead of setting unreasonable resolutions (like no wine for the year- ugh – I would fail for sure) let’s all set some reasonable parenting goals that we’d like to work on in 2020. Find out today how to be an effective parent in 2020 and let’s reach your goals!
6 Tips to be an effective parent in 2020
1) Don’t listen to judgements
Who here feels like they are failing as a parent when they listen to other moms talk at the park or post about their perfect lives on instagram. With the never ending attachments to technology, it’s often creating more stress then help. Instagram is not real-life. It’s a small slice of the pie. The pictures you see are the warm, sugary fruits of the pie, not the dry, day old crust. When you judge yourself against social media and other parents, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, use instagram as a way to learn and support you. FOLLOW ME on instagram and get daily tips to help you be an effective parent in 2020. Remember, it’s small changes made each day to that will make a huge difference in your parenting experience.
2) Make time for you
Ask yourself: “Am I taking care of me?” This is step one to being an effective parent in 2020. I know for certain, without a doubt, that you cannot be an effective parent if you don’t feel good about you! You matter first, if you want to be effective in life, not just parenting. Being a parent is a massive job! It’s 24/7 and can completely drain and exhaust you if you don’t feel your best. If you are not sleeping or not taking time to relax and recharge, you won’t have the energy to deal with the duties of parenting.
Your kids require lots of care, love, attention and guidance. How are you going to guide them and role model for them healthy lifestyles, if you, yourself are not practicing what you preach. If you find yourself yelling at your kids or you lack patience to cope with the fires your kids present, I want you to stop and make time for you. Go to the gym, have coffee with a friend, take a bath, grab a quick manicure. I don’t care what you do as long as you do what feels good to you!
3) Connect with your kids daily
Connection is key to being an effective parent in 2020. Today’s society is all heads down and eyes glued to screens. Parents and kids are both guilty of this. Children are getting devices earlier and earlier which isn’t helping the parent-child bond. Between busy schedules, sports, work and technology, kids and parents are growing farther and farther apart. When you lack a real authentic connection with your kids you begin to lose control. Your kids grow more distant, communicate less and lack respect. Connection is what helps your child feel a sense of confidence.
When your kids (babies, toddlers, school aged kids, tweens and teens) feel connected with you, they want to please you. With this goal to please you, also comes respect, listening, cooperation and opportunities for guidance. Connect with your kids daily by using my full-proof Golden Time Formula [10 minutes is all you need]. I love when I get off a coaching call after discussing how to implement Golden Time and I recieve messages like this one from Elena:
“Right after our call I went and spent some Golden Time with Grayson before his nap. I could feel a difference right away and already since he’s been up I see positive changes. I can tell this is going to make a big difference.”
4) Set up clear boundaries in advance
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries to help be an effective parent in 2020! Without boundaries, parenting is like treading water non-stop. It’s exhausting and takes way more work and energy then necessary. Why tread water when you could casually swim the breaststroke? In 2020 I want each and every one of you to find ease in your parenting. Learn tools, tips and strategies so you can stop working so hard. It can be done and clear boundaries are going to help get your there. Instead of trying to change everything at once and ending up giving up, I want you to choose one area you want to work on.
Do you need to set more boundaries around:
- Getting ready for bed
- Teaching your kids to fall asleep independently
- Working to get out of the house each morning without reminders
- Setting up fair consequences and learning how to stop giving empty threats
- Avoiding mealtimes battles
- Tantrums and outbursts
- Kids not listening
- Backtalk
- Homework struggles
What parts of your day do you want to focus on? Choose your #1 frustration and start there! For strategies and DIY step-by-step guides on how to solve your individual struggles grab your parenting guides and reach your 2020 parenting goals today!
5) Treat your kids like you want to be treated
“Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.” I know we have all heard this phrase throughout our lives, but it is something I often remind my clients about during our sessions. You want to be treated kindly and you, most definitely, want your kids to treat other people kindly, but sometimes as busy, tired and over-ran parents, you can forget to treat your kids with kindness. I’m not pointing fingers at you or trying to make you feel bad. I am human too and have had moments I know I could have handled things differently. In theses moments I recommend using this phrase as a litmus test. Ask yourself these questions:
“Am I treating my kids how I would like to be treated?”
“Would I treat my friends this way or talk to my friends in this manner?”
“Do I want my kids to treat other people the way I am treating them in this moment?”
These questions are a great way to help reel yourself back in and reset.
6) Reflection
Taking time for reflection is absolutely a key component to being an effective parent in 2020. In your moments of reflection are where you begin to grow and change. In order to reach your goals you need to first take time to think about and reflect on the areas in your parenting where you want to make change. Once you know where you want focus your attention, you can begin to reach your goals. Take it one step at a time and reflect as you go. Write down your challenges, wins, and questions. Each time a new client signs up for parent coaching, I send them a small “notebook” with inspirational quotes and a place for them to write down everything as they work through their challenges. This is a great way to continue reflection on your progress and areas you still need to work on. SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW YOUR #1 TOP PARENTING GOAL- I will write back!
Easier parenting starts with you and your kids are waiting for you to take the first step! Be the most effective parent you can be in 2020. BOOK your FREE 30 minute Discovery Call and let’s reach your parenting goals in 2020!
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