All kids misbehave for a reason. There are 4 deep rooted reasons why kids misbehave. Let’s face it, when your kids misbehave it’s annoying, frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming and can make you feel like losing your mind. Am I right? Here’s the thing, it’s not just to annoy you or take you to the end of your rope. Kids actually misbehave for deep rooted reasons. Today we are going to discuss 4 reasons why kids misbehave to help you understand where those unwanted behaviors stem from.
Behaviors are symptoms to a greater problem
When your child misbehaves it’s for a reason. You must remember that your child wants to feel connected, loved and nurtured by you, more than anything else in this world. When they misbehave they are trying to re-kindle that connection the only way they know how, which is through unwanted behaviors. When you see your child crying, whining, not listening, refusing to cooperate, telling you to ‘shut-up’ or that they ‘hate you’ it’s not because they want to do these things. Rather they are desperately trying to connect with you and meet their needs. What you see and hear through unwanted behaviors are simply the symptoms to your child striving to reach their goals and meet their needs.
4 reasons why kids misbehave
1) Need to please you
Kids are born needing to please you. It’s one of their predetermined jobs. You can’t change this, nor would you want to. Everyone loves to have their kids please them. It’s these moments that keep you going as parents. Those little wins that fill your heart with joy and keep your head above water. Here’s what I want you to know, you can set yourself up with concrete, clear and consistent routines, schedules and boundaries so your child knows and understands your expectations. It’s there that your child is able to please you throughout the day. Let’s go further into this.
2) Need to push boundaries until boundaries are found
The second predetermined job that your child is born needing to complete is that they need to push boundaries until boundaries are found. Right about now you’re saying to yourself, “no wonder my kids are constantly pushing me and my limits!”
So ask yourself;
- Do I have concrete, clear and consistent boundaries?
- Am I sure my kids know my expectations?
- Is it easy for my kids to know how to please me?
- Are my limits firm, fair and consistent?
If you answered ‘no’ to some or all of these questions, then it’s time for you to get out of the wishy washy grey zone and into the clear black and white zones. If you find yourself giving into your kids and you seem to lose the never ending negotiations, then you should be having an ah-ha moment of clarity right about now. Being able to see where you need to focus and shift your parenting so you can help your child reach their goals; knowing how to please you and how to stop pushing boundaries once you have them set.
3) Need to meet their basic needs
The next piece of the puzzle and the 3rd reason why kids misbehave is because they are striving to meet their basic needs. Basic needs are; sleep, nutrition and security. You must check off this basic needs box each and every day or you are asking for unwanted behaviors. Over-tired and over-hungry kids are like out of body creatures. You just can’t go there. You can’t have expectations or even think that your child will listen, coooperate or be any fun to be around if they are not getting quality/quantity sleep. Instead, you need to check off this box proactivly each day. I suggest setting a set meal and snack schedule in place so you and your kids know when you’re planning to eat. This helps avoid unwanted grazing and keeps hangry kids at bay.
Sleep is the #1 most important aspect within the basic needs box. If your kids are not sleeping well you can bet your ass you’re dealing with anoying behaviors all day, every day. It’s a given. Look at your child’s sleep closely;
Has covid pushed your child’s bedtime back?
Did they used to go to bed around 7pm and now it’s creeped to 9:00 pm before the lights are out?
Have your sleep and bedtime routines fell through the cracks?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, tell me, are you seeing more misbehviors? Is life with kids harder?
If you need sleep help – don’t wait. Once you solve sleep troubles you will be knocking around 90% of misbehviors out of the park! Get your kids to sleep easily without a battle!
Teach your kids to go to bed, stay in bed, fall asleep independently and sleep all night in a gentle and supportive way!
4) Need to meet their emotional needs
The final reason kids misbehave is they need to meet their daily quota of emotional needs. Emotional needs are your child’s needs to have power and attention.
Power = feeling capable, in charge, having control, feeling accomplished, responsible and independent
Attention = feeling connected, bonded and secure with their parents from your child’s perspective.
The crazy thing about attention is that kids will take whatever kind they can get; positive or negative. Instead of waiting for your kids to fight for attention with whining, tantrums and back talk, be proactive and give them the attention they need.
You can do this in just 10 minutes a day with my secret Golden Time formula.
Fill up your child’s power and attention buckets with simple, easy and fun parenting tools!
Child’s needs roadmap
So, you now know that all kids misbehave for a reason. It’s not just to annoy you. They have 4 deep rooted reasons they misbehave and these 4 reasons are what I call your child’s needs roadmap. Once you learn how to check off all these boxes daily, you will see how easy parenting can be. Finally being able to laugh, enjoy and cherish the moments you have together. All free of guilt, regret and doubt.
Who here wishes they could close their child’s door each night as they tuck them in and say to themselves,
“I am so lucky to have such an amazing child. Sweet, caring and kind. I can’t wait to spend the day with them again tomorrow?”
Sound like a pipe dream?
Well, guess what? It’s not! This can can be your life with kids. Gain the skills and knowledge to meet your child’s needs and complete their roadmap daily so you can avoid those misbehaviors and reach your parenting goals. Finally parent the way you always thought you would.
BOOK your free discovery call today and let’s chat about how you can reach these goals. Trust me, you will start to see results in the first week!
What are you waiting for?
Share this post with any parents you will would love to be able to check off their child’s needs roadmap and avoid those unwanted behaviors!