Did just the title of this post cause your heart rate to speed and armpits to sweat? If so, you’re not alone! Let me tell you a little story, it wasn’t long ago that I was walking the grocery isle (not right now as I’m home like you in Covid-isolation) when I witnessed a mother and her toddler battling it out in a major way. Her son was sitting in the cart; screaming, throwing his head back and kicking his mother as she attempted to push the cart. She was beyond frustrated, embarrassed and angry. I could feel her energy from across the isle and I new she was desperate to wake up from this bad dream.
Have you ever been in a similar situation?
I wanted to help this mother out, but instead I gave her a warm smile and moved on as though the tantrum was non-existent. She needed to know she wasn’t being judged. It’s very difficult to not see your child’s behavior as a direct reflection of yourself. Maybe because your child reminds you of you as a child or because you feel the world around you is labelling you a “bad parent” based on your child’s behavior. Whatever the reason, I want you to know that you’re not to blame. Wipe that shame under the rug, hold your head up high and know that you’re not alone.
Parenting is not intuitive – It’s a learned skill
I am giving you permission to give yourself a break, especially right now. Times are difficult and uncertain. Your life has completely shifted and there is nothing “normal” about your life during this covid pandemic. I am going to give you some tools and strategies right now to help you manage your emotions with your strong-willed child.
3 parenting strategies to help manage your strong-willed child
- Connect with your child daily from their perspective.
- Avoid engaging in power struggles
- Offer choice
Connect with your child daily
Kids of all ages need a certain amount of power and attention daily. Imagine that your child has two invisible power and attention buckets above their head. It’s our job as parents to fill these buckets, proactively, with positive tools. If we don’t, our kids will work to fill these buckets the only way they know how, through negative behaviors. Kids know that by not listening or misbehaving it’s guaranteed to get your attention!
Golden Time is the Simplest Parenting Tool
By using Golden Time daily you will save yourself time and energy. Your kids are guaranteed to feel seen, heard, and understood, which will decrease misbehaviors. You will easily connect with them from their perspective, which is the trick! This tool is bulletproof to help you and your kids feel more connected, in just 10 minutes! Golden Time is your golden key to easier parenting. If you can consistently use this tool for one week, you will begin seeing positive shifts in your ability to manage your emotions and minimize your child’s effort to be so strong-willed.
Download your free copy of Golden Time here
Avoid engaging in power struggles
Do you feel like each day is filled with power struggles and heavy duty games of tug-of-war?
Does the grocery store tantrum feel all too real?
In order to help manage your own emotions, especially with a strong-willed child, you need to role model to your child that you will not engage in power struggles. As soon as you pick up your end of the rope, your kids receive two messages:
- “I get lots and lots of attention when I act this way”
- “I should act like this more often because then mom or dad will stay focused on me”
This was not your goal when you yelled, put them in time out or got extremely frustrated. But, through your actions you send messages. Messages that encourage more negative behavior. Instead, put your end of the rope down. Role model that you will take three deep breaths before you say or do anything.
“I am sorry. Mommy is feeling really frustrated right now. I need to take three deep breaths and then I will be right with you.”
So much more powerful and effective. By taking time to breath, you are learning to control your emotions to help you manage your strong-willed child. Your strong-willed kids will become less strong-willed when their negative behaviors and resistance no longer work. When they realize they don’t get attention from them and that you are not bothered by them.
It’s plain and simple; CHOICE = POWER. Too often our kids feel like we are constantly telling them what to do: “brush your teeth, get dressed, turn off the TV, come to dinner, stop doing that, get dressed…” The list goes on and on and to be honest, I know you don’t love this cycle either. Instead to help manage your emotions with your strong-willed child, offer more choice. Proactive choices give your child positive power and help them put their strong-willed need to win aside. They realize they have control over their day. Getting choice makes them feel confident and capable. Helping fill those power buckets and meet their emotional needs.
- Would you like the blue or pink cup?
- Do you want to stay at the park for 5 or 6 more minutes?
- Would you like a shower or a bath?
- Do you want to zip your own coat or would you like me to start it?
CHOICE = POWER & POSITIVE POWER = LESS RESISTANCE
Golden Time will teach you how to fill power and attention buckets in just 10 minutes! This 5 ingredient formula will teach you how to meet your child’s attention needs from their perspective, fill up power and so much more! Grab my $27 online Golden Time course and start making a difference today! It just takes $27 and 10 minutes to help your strong-willed child become more cooperative. You will finally be able to manage your emotions and bond more with your child.
I know parenting isn’t an easy job. It takes time and patience, which we don’t have much of right now. Let me save you time and energy and help you manage your emotions with your strong-willed child. Follow these three tips; connect with Golden Time, avoid power struggles and offer choice to help make your days easier with your kids!
PS. Leave me a comment below with your Golden Time stories and email me anytime by replying to this email! I am here to help and guide you each step of the way! I’d love to hear from you. Success stories, questions or inquiries.